Chicago Cubs Lineup (5/24/24): Offense Sharting, Imanaga Starting

Remember the last time I bullied the Cubs by telling them they would not see their names in the lineup post if they couldn’t score? It worked that time, so I’m trying it again. The only problem is that it’s going to wear thin pretty quickly if the offense can’t get something going more regularly. The Cubs haven’t homered in their last five games and they have been shut out five times in the last 25 games. That’s bad.

Let’s just be more blunt and say it’s downright shitty.

The Cubs offense couldn’t find its own ass with both hands and a flashlight right now, and at times the hitters have looked about as awkward as that image. Everyone’s healthy but almost no one seems right, it’s like the opposite of a month or so ago when they looked to be clicking so well. Plate approaches have withered, power has all but disappeared, and confidence appears to be at a premium.

I’d love to believe Shota Imanaga is exactly the right starter to help get them a win, but the pessimist in me says they’ll just lean on him to throw seven scoreless innings. And even if that happens, the bullpen will somehow piss it away. The lefty’s perfect record has to be blemished at some point, and you just know those BFIB dingleberries would love to gloat about it happening in St. Louis.

The good news here is that the Cards are counter with Lizard King Miles Mikolas, who loves to throw hittable strikes. His 5.77 ERA is a product of having mediocre stuff and no put-away pitch, though he does get solid value from his fastball by being able to throw it literally anywhere in or out of the zone. Mikolas actually throws the slider most frequently, it just doesn’t get far enough off the plate to be effective.

Look, there’s no use in breaking this dude down any further because you’ve all seen more than enough of him at this point. He’s pedestrian at best and should not be able to beat this lineup under normal circumstances, which is why he’ll probably toss his best game of the year.

First pitch from St. Louis is at 7:15pm CT on Marquee and 670 The Score.