Nix the 6th: Petitioning MLB to Remove an Inning From Cubs Baseball Games
I’m mad as hell about the Cubs crumbling in the 6th inning and I’m not sure the brass will act quickly enough to fix the issue, so I have decided to take matters into my own hands. Rather than just put a band-aid on the problem, I’m asking Major League Baseball to remove an entire frame from Cubs games.
As it is written in Matthew 5:30, “And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” Well, I feel it’s better for the Cubs to cut out the inning that is making them stumble; it’s better to play only 8 innings than to risk throwing away an entire season due to 3 troublesome outs.
From my petition at Change.org:
Some traditions are so heinous, so hackneyed, that they need to be rent from stem to stern and pulled from the fabric of sports by their very roots. The wave, the kiss cam, fans running onto the field or wiping their butts with hats thrown into the stands. But now it appears an entirely new strain of infectious, drug-resistant blight has infiltrated baseball. I’m not talking about MRSA either. No, it’s the 6th inning curse that now lies upon the Cubs like a pox.
The average MLB team has allowed only 15 runs in this frame through May 11th, an average of about .47 runs/game. The Cubs, on the other hand, have allowed 27 runs in 33 games, or .82 per contest. With a run differential of only -8, it’s obvious that the 6th inning has cost them several games already. Perhaps even more so than the amorphous and arbitrary strike zone being employed by MLB umpires, this single frame of baseball puts the Chicago Cubs at a competitive disadvantage and should be banned immediately.
This issue has persisted for quite some time, but it wasn’t until I saw Jon Lester allow back-to-back homers to Punch and Judy that I was finally like, “Dude, uh…” When I saw the Cubs’ ace lose his cool and light into the home plate umpire after being squeezed on calls like a teenager’s zit, I knew something was wrong and I knew that I had to do something to fix it.
The 6th inning and its inherent deleterious evils may be the one thing holding the Cubs back from a World Series title this season. Never mind the strikeouts, the shoddy bullpen, or Ronnie Woo-Woo; if you truly want to see the Cubs win when it counts, you’ll stand with me and require that MLB nix the 6th for our team. Or you can stand idly by and watch as yet another season comes and goes with the North Siders on the outside looking in. The choice is yours.
Sign the petition at Change.org today!
